Ashes to Beauty

I gave my life to Jesus about 6 years ago Looking back I had a low self esteem always compared myself to others and what they possessed I was on the verge of trading my inheritance in Christ Jesus for the temporal things of this world. Serving Him was portrayed as “boring”, I lost all my friends and tried to fill the void within me with baggage, validation from people and dysfunctional relationships. 

(Isaiah 43:1-4) NKJV

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are Mine.
² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.
³ For I am the Lord your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I gave Egypt for your ransom,
Ethiopia and Seba in your place.
⁴ Since you were precious in My sight,
You have been honored,
And I have loved you;
Therefore I will give men for you,
And people for your life.

The Lord gave me this scripture when I gave my life to Him and this is such a precious promise: All who are redeemed with the blood of his Son, He has set apart for himself but I still couldn’t grasp the reality of this promise. When I felt like I couldn’t go on anymore totally surrendering to the Father was not an option for me, I felt like I could handle it all by myself. It was extremely painful and difficult to surrender all my baggage; insecurities, doubts, fears, self-worth, & lack of confidence. That in itself affected how I related relationally with friends & family as I was bound to those things. 

(Jeremiah 18:1-5) NKJV

"The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying: ² “Arise and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will cause you to hear My words.” ³ Then I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was, making something at the wheel. ⁴ And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make.⁵ Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying: ⁶ “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?” says the Lord. “Look, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel".

 This scripture clearly says how the Lord is the Potter and we are the clay in His hands, if and when we allow Him to mold us like marred clay in His hand we allow Him to cleans us, strips us, breaks us of things that are detrimental to our relationship with Him & today looking back I am immensely thankful for every trial & tribulation, I am so so thankful for the process that lead me to His precious Promises. We want the promise but want to abort the PROCESS, however it is the process that prepares us for the promise. I murmured and complained constantly which resulted in being stagnant but when I asked the Father to open and enlighten the eyes of my understanding I started seeing the purpose and value in the PROCESS, all of a sudden my mouth was filled with praises, I started blessing Him in my valley regardless of how I felt or how it looked like. I always wanted to bypass the process as it isn’t comfortable & pleasant but as my eyes were enlightened I started inclining my ears to hear and abide in Jesus and at the same time obey as blessing comes as a result of obedience. 

The moment I totally surrendered to the Father throughout the process & allowed Him to mold me into the women that He wants me to be, (The Lord has given us the Liberty to choose/to choice) I chose and said yes to His best in Him, I felt chains falling off of me as He striped me of different mindsets, I started feeling lighter, I started gaining confidence & boldness in Him, I cannot begin to explain the joy, the peace that comes with totally surrendering & sharing in your Son-ship/ relationship with God through Jesus Christ. His love is unfailing, He loves us with an everlasting love, He bought us with a high price, His Grace is sufficient for us, He has nothing but the very best interest at heart for us.  I have traded my ashes for beauty and the peace that comes with it is indescribable, peace that surpasses all understanding & Joy unexplainable nothing and no one can take it from me. My heart throbs and overflows with so much love, Grace, peace I’m in a puddle of gratitude as the Father keeps revealing His Father heart towards me, I am not the same I have truly been changed in His glory.

 His faithfulness remains constant & my hearty prayer is to is to encourage you to keep pushing in Him regardless of how it might look like, regardless of how you feel, regardless of what people have to say don’t listen to the opinions of people, there is so much peace that comes with fearing God and pleasing Him. We are worthy & valuable in the Father’s eyes, we are complete in Him.  He has helped me a lot with how I see myself, spending time at His feet has helped me to see myself the way He sees me because I struggled with that. God has put me in circumstances and in places where He’s showing just what He’s capable of doing through me and I think He’s just waiting for an invitation from us a lot of the times but It’s very short and simple…just know that you’re not ”too far gone” or a failure just because you fail or fall, get back up and start again and lean ONTO him He’s steady enough to take all of your weight and carry you too! 

(Galatians 5:1 NKJV)

“Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”

There is so much liberty in Christ Jesus He desires us to be the authentic person He has made us to to be without alteration. Get to know Him the same way you would a new person, spend time alone with him, the bible has everything about Him it’s His word and talk to Him every day and every night, ask him to make himself shown and known to you, to be a real person to you and He will.

 God allows these trials for the purifying purposes of our characters. You are gold! God is on your side! Nestle yourself in His word (I love Psalms for these times) where you can ask God to show Himself strong. “Lord, Your word says this, show me Lord, help me to believe it “ – a simple prayer like that has really helped me. God’s hand is not too short that He cannot reach you, find friends that will lift you, search the scriptures that will fortify you from further doubts and lies of the enemy and keep your head high!

“Prayer is the channel of communication between our souls and God. God speaks through His word, we respond to Him through prayer. To strengthen this relationship and satisfy our emotional and spiritual needs, we must learn the power or prayer.” (E.G White, Prayer)

I pray you are encouraged thank you for reading God bless & abundance be yours!

In His love
Ndeshi Jameson

Me (on the left) and a dear friend in Christ