But...What about my desires Lord?

Featured on: Between the gardens blog via Instagram written by: Ndeshi Jameson 

After taking a hot shower a few days ago, I was getting into my nightdress and the Holy Spirit reminded me and said, “Ndeshi do you remember you bought that nightdress 5 years ago just before flying to India?

In that moment I was so shocked and realized it was true and that the nightdress was so big then and it didn’t fit me. I had to put it away hoping that in the near future it would fit. The reason I bought it was because I loved the color and it was beautiful. Even though it was too big I decided to buy it hoping to wear it one day. To my surprise, as I put it on a few days ago, I couldn’t believe it but it fit me perfectly well after 5 long years.
In that moment the Holy Spirit said to me, Ndeshi I want to remind you of certain desires you’ve expressed to me in prayer for the past 5 years. You’ve cried and fasted, and frustration was the order of the day. I want to remind you that just like that dress didn’t fit you then, so too were you not mature enough for what you were crying for. There are certain things you’ve prayed and fasted for and I am only releasing it to you now in this season because you have grown into maturity in Me. Every test, trial, and tribulation has matured you for such a time as this.

I got job opportunities which were offering me the perfect packages and God said-No.
I was engaged to be married and God stepped in and said-No.
Friendships I held onto and God said-Let it go.
It was hard to let go and let God and my faith was wounded. I was depressed and felt like my prayers were only hitting the ceiling. Looking back, I can honestly say that I am thankful for every closed door because I was not ready to step into what I was crying for. If God had given me what I petitioned for, my life would have been a wreck.

During the past two years, I continued to consecrate myself to the Lord. He enlightened my eyes to see that my identity and self-worth was tied to what I was asking for. I prayed and sought His face for all of those things because everyone around me was getting perfect jobs, getting married, and stepping into their purpose.
Today I am healed and free and delivered in so many areas which led me to walk in God’s purpose for my life. I share more of that in my recently published book, “In Pursuit of a Father.” God may have made you great promises but it seems like your life is one big ball of trials. God is preparing you for those promises. I don’t know what you are trusting God for in this season or what you have been praying for. But, as we seek Him for who He truly is, He will delight in what we desire in His perfect timing. He is a good, good Father and so perfect in all of His ways.

I pray you are encouraged. 

In His love

Ndeshi Jameson